I am desperate and destitute.
The Starman Tarot- 5 of Pentacles, represents the lack of awareness that is common to the "rat race". Often we fail to see the great beauty around us, legs churning, driven by worry, we speed past the flowering fecund beauty of the trees around us. We fail to see the beauty in the green grass, the bright colored birds in the flowering trees, and the song of "I AM" that they proudly warble to the world. Our whole sight is filled with the fear of lack, of not having enough time to get what we want. We are filled with the poverty thinking of a slave who mentally feels the slaver's whip cracking across their bent back. Stop, stand still and just look around, there is no lack, only the lack of awareness. Even the tagging artist, who illegally paints the walls of the town in graffiti, lends a beauty of awareness to the brick walls. Gratitude for what we have, no matter how old or little, brings only more. Fear of lack, only vacates more. I AM is our claim to existence and the first fertile step towards being. "I AM the Will, I AM the Way, I AM the Wealth and I own the day." Fills the heart with fertile thought, while I AM Lack, leaves only a hole; a hole that makes a gluttony that can't be appeased.
Davide De Angelis presents us a picture of 2 characters crouching, heads down, right in front of a garden of Eden , fruitful and fecund and only separated by a barbed wire fence. One that could easily be surmounted. But their "I's" are full of thoughts of "I Don't have...." and can't even recognize their hands and feet as ways to stand, which is even a greater perspective than they have now. " I have intelligence, I have the hands of creation, I have the feet of motivation, I can achieve anything by taking a step forward,,,," is something they don't even recognize as a possibility. Instead, these 2 figures are slowly disappearing into the graffiti covered boards, just another form of refuge on the mean streets of the forgotten.
The Thoth-5 of Disks-Worry, represents the same state of impoverished self-identity.
Since Disks are cards that represent the physical, this card represents physical worry, concerns, and rumination. It is a state of conscious that dwells in the past and goes forward fearing the future and therefore, doesn't live in the now. By not living in the now, we are not present today, which doesn't allow new perspectives or thoughts to change our mental/emotional direction. This is a general effect of a long strain without action; a general state of inaction. Health, finances, work, relationships and/or creativity are the concerns here.
Astrologically this card represents Mercury in Taurus, also symbolizing communication worries. Worrying about whether your communication efforts are coming across correctly or if you even have the ability to communicate at all. By now we are familiar with the 5th Sephiroth- Geburah, a state of intelligence that is severe in its function. Geburah is a corrective state of intelligence, whose severity is an action towards self-assessment, rather than anything karmic.
The Thoth Deck 5 of Disks, is called Worry, but also often called the Lord of Material Trouble. Here Mercury is in Taurus. The angels of the Decan are Mebahiah and Pooyal.
In the 5 of Disks, we have Geburah-Severity, influencing the Material World (Assiah)
"To Worry" something, is translated to English as the shepherds use the word, which is a type of strangulation a sheep dog does to a sheep. This strangulating is a biting and holding on to the Sheep's throat, which stops it in its tracks and is just for the purpose of redirection. Therefore, we understand that the 5 of disks is so named because it stops all material events, such as profession or monetary gain, dead in its tracks.
Again, Crowley shapes this card as an inverted pentagram, which implies difficulties. He also placed the geometric figures of the Hindu five Tattvas in the individual disks, each symbolizing a Alchemical element of Fire, Water, Air, Earth and Spirit. In the Hindu system these are the underlying currents of matter. Therefore, the survival mind of the material being has brought mental interference by survival-fear based thinking, blocking the message of the Soul to be the Power that you are.
Mercurial energy is opposed in Taurian earth, simply because Earth has a natural tendency to be stationary while Mercury is swift motion. Granted it takes a strong Mercury to influence and unbalance Taurus but Geburah is just that strength. In fact, instead of Severity, she is sometimes called Strength and causes instability in the 5 states of matter. This instability is vibrationary, much like and earthquake, yet the 5 states of energy (Five Tattvas) have enough attraction necessary to hold together on the lover planes forestalling complete disruption. So this is more like the dog holding the sheep at a standstill, a kind of intelligence applied to labor. The 5 of Disks implies, intense strain with long moments of inaction. What is being suggested here is that you are at a mental crossroads, so stop, look and listen, then choose a new direction.
The 5 of Disks implies that perspective makes our present state of being, and if our perspectives dwell in the past we are “upside-down” ---we aren't living today. This 5 of Disks card reminds us that we are presently inanimate, which is dead to action. We can change directions, be they physical, emotional or mental only by acting--moving! Begin with what you have even if your only action to hold out your hand for assistance to stand; "should of" and what-ifs are unimportant to motion as they only excuse inaction. It's time to break worry patterns by actively pursuing changes in communication patterns, financial, health, and in relationships with the Taurus people in your life. Worry is a type of mental lethargy whose chains are easily broken by activity. Live the now, you are not "a past person" you are an I AM Now person---an active and unique expression of a living Light.
When the Divination brings up the 5 of Disks/Pentagrams, the querent is going through a period:
- Of rumination, anxiety or concern...maybe all.
- Feeling left out of social events because of lack of money.
- Of challenges concerning insecurity, deprivation, and even exclusion.
- Where the mind is focused on survival issues and therefore, stopping creativity dead in its tracks as a feeling of helplessness and inertia takes over.
- There is a foretelling of material trouble for the next 5 weeks or 5 months.
- Of the next 5 weeks or 5 months, opportunities are presented to you for the release of worry about health, finances, relationships, productivity and to improve on your communication skills.
- The past, let's say when you were 5 years old, is what produces worry as a response.
- Of intending to want to avoid discomfort, and try to compare present day events, to past ones.
- Locked into past pain----does not help us live in the present and this card reminds us to forget the what-ifs of yesterday, or tomorrow and to be the I Am of now.
If ill defined-Thoth or reversed-Starman:
- Crying over spilt milk.
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