The Tarot of Eli, LLC-Minor Arcana: Thoth Tarot- 5 of Swords-Defeat & The Declarative Tarot - No. 5-Self-Doubt -Layers of Mind

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Above all things, know thyself!

#5. I recognize the manifestation of undeviating justice in all the circumstances of my life.

The Thoth- 5 of Swords-Defeat occupies the position of Geburah, the 5^th Sephiroth on the Tree of Life named SEVERITY. Although Geburah is an aspect of the All Mother Binah, albeit lower down the Tree, this Severity is easily explained as cutting away the unworthy bits so that you are the original form she has understood into existence; the Original You-Her Golden Child. What many fail to understand is that all the definitions given to you, by your society, belief systems and cultures are not you, because YOU HAVE TO BE KNOWN INTO EXISTENCE AS SELF-INFORMATION BY YOUR DIVINE CREATIVE! In other words, you have already been made to be you and have become complete in manifestation., which is Understanding the last step in "TRUE KNOWING".

Wholeness is Spirit-Mind-Body as One Being, not a personal ego looking for approval. Your destiny is done, YOU ARE TO BE! From the beginning of Time, the One Energy, whose God name is Eheieh (I Will Be), I shouted aloud "I Will Be", and from that came I AM... which is 0=2; Male electric and Female- Magnetic, Polar- opposites who simultaneously became into I Dea (goddess name). However, two become equalized and a static point is reached but the energy they created by the action of interface, expands outward into the ethers as movement: a movement we call Love. Love is Energy flow and requires opposites. You are the fulfillment of that command of "I Will Be" and therefore, fulfilled destiny. However, your fate is up to you, and you may know this as "freedom of choice", as your choices make your assumed Life journey.

Since truth is made manifest, you never came seeking your truth, nor did you come to find out who you are, the Soul already Knows that and built you as its representative in the material world. By turning "Understanding" into in-form-action, the Divine Creatrix made you manifest! Therefore, you are already Defined into being, not a being who seeks definition; for this planet and this cosmos are not a courtroom. They are a mirrored workplace whereby the use of in-form-action turns information into knowledge by experience! Therefore, you are an image of Goddess/God---The I AM, who proves definition by making it manifest! You also give definition to things, so that they may be cataloged and used as communicated information; in the Mind things must be identified to become "Understood". Ideas, are what you build into things by naming them and then emoting them as in-form-action, thereby allowing the ideas, to be experienced and proven as Knowledge. Knowledge is different than information, as it must be intimately experienced by what is commonly called a "life motion". If an idea manifests and expands the intent of I Will Be, as it was destined to do; that's knowledge. If it doesn't succeed in that intent; that is also knowledge. Hence, knowledge is neither good nor bad. It is an experiment and experiments are all failures until they aren't.

Therefore, Geburah helps us remember who we really are and not what we pretend or believe ourselves to be. This is necessary as we all wear a mask created of words that fulfill a ruler's media-controlled propaganda and are unable to see our true reflection in the mirror of the Unconscious. The Thoth 5 of Swords is known as Defeat, or Lord of Defeat, while the Declarative Tarot concentrates on intellectual conflict or ideological dual brought on by self-doubt. These mental duals combine rationally and methodically uneven fluid forces such as emotional or creative ones, producing yet a third force. Just as water boils in a cauldron producing vapor that rises to higher levels, consciousness acts just like the Qabalistic Geburah (5the Sephiroth-Severity) directing this ascent by favoring those changes that frighten us but are necessary, encouraging us to retain the higher characteristics belonging to our Soul's created personality, instead of the man-made one. Including those blocked by mistakes, doctrine, prejudices, or our inability to express our feelings to a loved one.

The Declarative Tarot-No. 5- Self-Doubt-Layers of Mind, implies choosing to reject and opportunity or connection and/or being unwilling to accept support. Hence, we have an image of dark rain clouds representing self-doubt which dampens the emotion and sense of I Am and/or Self. There is a sense of needing to step back from our life. However, our inner-Sun of the Divine Creative expression of " I Will BE" isn't affected by our worldly clouds of emotional moods. Just as the Sun of our solar system, earth cloudy days have no effect on its bright, warm, and beautiful shining. Hence, your inner beauty is unaffected. In the background the shadowed mountains, all distant and gloomy, represent how the trials and tribulations of the world around us seem so menacing.

In the background is a Stand of Aspens who love to spread out and cover large distances. Aspens are known for the shimmering effect of their leaves trembling and shaking in the breeze. They symbolize the body shaking and trembling from emotional currents that start in the brain and end up in the nervous system. Here is represented the progress of a single doubt ending up in a stand of doubt, making any movement forward one of trembling and shaking: that is, if we move at all. When we are sitting, motionless in doubt, we are like two butterflies trying to communicate with each other. The one lacking self-confidence is trying to hide its face and reject any interplay of kindness or solutions.

The pocket gopher, with an action of curiosity has paused from its tenacious digging to avoid prey and build a secure hiding place. Survival thinking is all about not being seen. However, the pocket gopher is noted for undermining gardens and often unknowingly causing their destruction. Hence, there is an implication in the image that by when we are choosing to feel "less than", we uproot our efforts by self-sabotage. This is the perfect example of the biblical "when you build a house on a foundation of sand, it will fall"... Therefore, to doubt yourself is to disrupt the foundation of our presence, and thereby not seeding the fertile presence of I AM with future gardens of success.

Being that Venus is in Aquarius here, the normal disruption of Geburah's strength is not the cause of disaster! This is because weakness is the cause of the 5 of Swords disaster! A weakness brought on by pacifism, and enfeebling sentiment, even treachery. However, it is also a weakness a child feels when he or she isn't allowed to be themselves but must reject themselves to fulfill a doctrine or dogma as their identity. This begins by rejecting the very body that they have come to claim in their name. In our society, the body is "bad" and Unclean when naked and must be an object of shame and to enjoy it and the sensations it gives us, is a "sin" and a mode of embarrassment and humiliation. This defeats the whole purpose of sensual being! We are Celestial Beings who are not seeking Light, for Light is what we are. We do not "fuck", "screw", or have profaned sexual intercourse, we interface! Where one becomes two, the two interface to become One again. When they interface, they change the surrounding environment with fecundating frequencies. We are Spirits and/or vibrational harmonics of light that are seeking "enfleshenment"! For Joy, Happiness, Pleasure, Excitement, Love (intimacy) cannot be felt or known without a sensual body! Of course, this also brings the "shadow side" of these sensations, "sadness", "sorrow", "Pain", " Boredom", "loneliness" profaned concepts of union etc. All of which is data turned into "knowledge". You are Spirit (another word for Willed Energy) and Energy is not sensual. Your immortal self (True Self) is "Pure Energy" and/or a Sun of the Divine Creative. Hence, we are Celestial Photonic Beings (photons/light have no mass) who need bio-protonic bodies to "Above all things, Know thyself"!

The hilts of the Thoth swords form the sinister image of the inverted pentagram, symbolic of the body's fears having conquered the Will of intention by the treachery of sensation/shame and embarrassment. Many of us know that feeling fearful is often more sensual than feeling willful. This is because of the ever-present falsehood of sensation and self-doubt brought into belief by indoctrination, propaganda, and dogma of "badness" and the fact that the subconscious is the bio-protonic intelligence of the physical form...something you must adopt and train to be a faithful companion (the subconscious/brain is also called the "survival mind" as its intelligence is "fear based"). Antagonism between the Subconscious and Solar/Soul built Awake Self-Conscious keeps the will of I AM from collecting into force. Knowing is replaced by " fear-based belief systems"; systems made by "the few who wish to rule the many" using their expertise in "word hypnosis".

Notice: that none of the sword hilts are the same, implying many different weak thoughts assaulting the blue Rose of Wisdom, which was at once whole in the 4 and is now all cut to pieces in the 5, implying that Wisdom is scattered to the winds of emotional/mental defeat. To emphasize this defeat of will, blood of self-torture and the poison of shame drips from the intellect/swords.

The 5 of Swords is Geburah in Yetzirah, a severe Mars influence, is now in the Astral-Formative World. Yet, Mars is the consort of Venus in mythology, whereby, mythology is not a story telling a lie, but rather a story relating a truth about rampaging emotions. Hence, there is also a vulnerability of capitulation here as warlike Mars ravages the charms of Venus.

In an emotional sense, fear makes us think the same thoughts repeatedly, expecting different results. This is self-defeating, for the only result is inability to live in the moment. You become "yesterday's" dysfunction and not a "Today's" action. Hence, the image suggests anxiety, meanness, fear, humiliation, loss, collapse of plans. You now have a black streak in your life and are now unlucky in everything.

However, the querent may be the strong one or at least the one feeling strong who is fed up with the situation and is willing to stand and fight. The card implies that if you choose to fight, you will win but also there may be unforeseen circumstances. Stop and consider the situation for a moment, so that you don't do what you will regret.

When the 5 of Swords or No. 5- card-Self-Doubt is thrown during a reading, the querent is:

• Usually caught in the fears of the past.
• They are experiencing a self-defined prison of negative, self-defeating beliefs.
• Here defeat on a mental level, bringing humiliation and weakness.
• The suggestion here is to give up fighting, swallow your pride and acknowledge your limitations, and then proceed in a new direction. 
• We are only defeated when we stop seeking another way. 
• So, there is no 5 week or 5-month period here, since it is the querent's own mental negativity that is involved here, and they could change perspective at any time.
• An overwhelming situation. 
• Needing to hold onto principles until the time comes to make a change.

If the cards are ill defined by the surrounding cards, it implies:

• The situation is owing better with courage and persistence.
• Winning against the odds with all that one has.
• Testing one's prowess. 

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